Sunday, June 11, 2017

The Infertility Saga Continues

Sorry I didn't do a post on Friday. To be honest I am kind of in a limbo and didn't know what to say. So I will fill you in on where we are right now. I was hoping to go to my 2 week follow up appointment, hear the doctor say all looks well, and let you all know that I am scheduled to do another Frozen Transfer in late August. Well it didn't exactly go like that. 

Dr. Garcia said the tissue results came back and I "could possibly but I am really not sure, it's like 50/50 chance" that I may have had a partial molar pregnancy. LOL I said umm ok what's that? He explained a complete molar pregnancy as a group of abnormal cells that form and your body thinks you are pregnant, but you are really not. Through ultrasound you can see there is no fetus and you do a D&C. Essentially the cells could be a form of cancer. A partial molar is where there is a baby, but the placenta has abnormal cells which leads to issues with the baby which causes it to die. The results came back possible for a partial molar but it is inconclusive. He told me that he wants to wait till I get the genetic results back on the tissues. If they are perfectly normal it was not a partial molar pregnancy. If there was genetic issues then he thinks it could have been a partial. 

So I asked what are the chances of it happening again, he said about 1% so I thought ok lets move on and press our luck. He then proceeded to tell me that if it was a partial molar pregnancy you have to wait a minimum of 6 months before getting pregnant again. If some abnormal cells were left embedded in your uterus and they came out a few months later while pregnant it could lead to another D&C whether the baby was healthy or not. So he said DO NOT get pregnant. So like I said I am in Limbo. All could be well and we could be doing an FET in August or all may be pushed another 1/2 year out. It all depends on my genetic results which should be back in a week or 2. 

In the meantime he wants me to do weekly blood draws to make sure my HCG levels are dropping back to zero. This is the pregnancy hormone and if it doesn't drop it could mean it was a partial molar and there are still abnormal cells in there. I was at 123 on Wednesday which I am not sure if thats good or bad. I'll have a better idea after this weeks draw to see how quickly things are dropping. 

So woohoo the craziness continues. I said to Garcia "sheesh just add it to the list of crap I have" and he laughed and said you are definitely complicated LOL.  So I am taking this as a way that God can tell me what to do. If he doesn't think its right to do it again in August, then he will tell me it was a partial molar and I need to wait 6 months. If all comes back good, he is okay with August to try again. I only have 2 eggs left so this will be my last FET whenever it happens. Just trying to be at peace with it all and not be my usual controlling self. And in the meantime I am going to vacation my heart out bc I was putting off some trips I wanted to do because of being pregnant. Looking into a cruise now with the fam this fall and skiing with the McLaughlins in the winter. Finding the joy in the present. And honestly like I told my sister. After all this I wish I could just say well I am good with just my 2 beautiful girls lets quit trying. But I know deep down I would regret not giving it one more shot. I just feel like we are meant to have 1 more child. Just waiting for God to grant the desires of my heart. Hopefully I didn't confuse you guys too much with what's going on and I will do another post when I know more. I will leave you with the verse I saw on pinterest and Loved! So true and a great reminder of our true purpose on Earth. To fulfill his will and have eternal life in Heaven. XOXO

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