Wednesday, September 6, 2017

(IN)FERTILITY FRIDAY - Last one for who knows how long

Sorry I didn't write a post yesterday, after doing my blood test. I didn't need the doctor to confirm that I wasn't pregnant. The 5 pregnancy tests over the past 5 days did that for me. And to be honest by yesterday, I was so already past waiting for the official test that I forgot to do a blog update! So sadly no I am not pregnant. The embryos did not take to my uterus or died off or who knows what. Statistically speaking it should have worked. I have done 3 transfers and all 3 transfers had worked up until now. But clearly God is not in the business of statistics and likes to defy them at any chance he can get. So here is how my week went down.

I laid around for the 2 days after my transfer like always and then got back to life as usual. Didn't really think about it too much until I started packing for my trip to Atlanta for the FSU game. Would I be drinking or not?!? So by Thursday morning I just had to take a test to see. It said no. I didn't lose too much hope because it was still one day earlier than I have tested in the past and every time by day 8 it said positive and it was only day 7. So the next morning I took another and let me just add my anxiety was through the roof waiting those 3 minutes. This one was the one that counts. If it's a not pregnant than it didn't work. Sure enough I walk in there to read it and damn it didn't work. :( It was a very mixed emotions moment. I was of course very upset that I wasn't going to be having another baby for God only knows how long now, but I also was a little appreciative that my negative result was sooner than later. My prayer was of course for a child, but if God wasn't going to bless us with a baby in the end, let it be right away a no instead of going through another 10-12 weeks of carrying a baby before taking it away. And thats what he did. He let me know ASAP so I could move on with life. So off we flew to Atlanta that afternoon. We hung out with my old college roommate and friends, went to dinner, and had a few drinks. The next morning I took one more pregnancy test just hoping maybe it was wrong before I drank more for the FSU game and once again it said not pregnant so I knew that was  the final answer. We had a great day tailgating and going to our horrible game we lost LOL and then flew out of Atlanta for home on Sunday morning. It was a nice getaway to take my mind off of everything. I knew I still had to do the blood test, which to be honest I was dreading because I didn't want to small talk or hear maybe the test is wrong when I knew it wasn't. But I brought Blakely with me and she distracted me enough to get in and out. Of course she called later and said it was negative and I said I know and who knows where I will go from here, I'll call Dr. Brown when I am ready again.

So that is where we stand. Out of eggs and with no plan. And I am ok with that for now. I of course am such a planner/control freak that I'm sure I will want something down on a calendar to look forward to, but for now I am going to try to do nothing and see what God wants me to do. I would really appreciate it if he audibly told me to give up, keep trying, adopt a kid... something. I know in 10 years I will look back and the way this all unfolds is going to be amazing, but it is hard in the midst when I am not sure what to do. So for now I will just pray. I start BSF again next week and that always helps me stay in the Bible so hopefully being more in touch with God I will have some answers soon. I am thinking I'll take a year off (secretly pray for a miracle baby) and then go from there if nothing happens. Thanks for all the prayers, kind words, and support. But for now (IN)FERTILITY FRIDAY is put on hold! XOXO

I will still blog about fun trips and family stuff though if you want to keep following!

Friday, August 25, 2017

(IN)FERTILITY FRIDAY - TRANSFER #3

Yesterday I had my 3rd and final frozen transfer. We officially are out of eggs. Dr. Brown put in my last 2 eggs yesterday and said "Here's your twin boys." I said at this point Dr. I'll take anything....boy, girl, 1, 2...I am good with any of it! So I laid there as long as they would let me, walked to my car at a snails pace doing kegels the whole way and laid in the back of the truck the entire way home. I didn't even go pee till I got home which was quite painful but not taking any chances this time. He gave me my embryo report card and both eggs they put in were 4Bs. 5A is the absolute best. I was thinking these would be like 3Cs since they were the last ones, but I guess all my eggs were about the same as far as grading goes. So that is hopeful because 4B is good. So now the 2 week wait (2WW) begins!





I have been laying in bed for the past day and half and have gotten lots accomplished. I made Delainey's 5 year old shutterfly photo book, paid bills online, set up someone to come give me a quote for built in bookcases for the office, and watched all my DVR Real housewives shows. I only got out of bed twice yesterday to pee and take my meds/shots. God bless Daves parents who have had the girls since yesterday morning. They have picked them up and taken them to school, fed them, did a sleep over and even managed to cook me dinner last night. Dave picked it up and served me dinner in bed. So lucky to have such awesome family to help!

Today I moved to the couch, drank some decaf coffee and did a little bible study. I decided to watch the movie The Shack today and it was amazing! I of course cried multiple times throughout it, but the way it personified God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit was spot on and it really changed your perspective on God. (I thought it would not do justice at all) Not to ruin it but they told the main character to choose which of his 2 children he would send to hell and which one to heaven. Of course he couldn't choose and said take me. And they said well how do you think God feels having to choose which of his children to send. So true even if they are a horrible person who deserves it. They are still God's child. Mind blown that even the worst humans deserve to be redeemed and not judged. Thats just a tiny example of some of the stuff they said. I literally caught myself saying over and over "yes, exactly!" I highly recommend it for everyone. I'm gonna make Dave watch it tonight and I'll watch it again.

Anyway back to infertility stuff. I continue over the next week and half to take my crinone estrogen and heparin. The shots are killing me in the stomach. It is like I have tons of scar tissue built up in my stomach so it is hard to find somewhere to inject easily. I emailed my nurse today to see if I can change location for my shots so we will see what she says. Please keep the prayers coming for a baby to implant and grow into a healthy child over the next 9 months. And I will be back with some news the Tuesday after Labor Day. I'll leave you with a quote from the movie I liked. "When I live in you, then together we can live through everything that happens to you." So glad God is with me every step of my life! It's a lot easier to have true joy and peace! XOXO






Monday, August 21, 2017

Kelli's Surprise 30th Birthday Party

Saturday night I surprised Kelli with a dinner for her and 9 of her closest friends. We had 2 chefs come to the house who cooked and served a 4 course meal with a wine paired with each course. It was lovely! Too bad I couldn't have a chef cook for me weekly :) We were able to pull of the surprise which took some scheming and last minute prep but all went well. Happy 30th birthday to my sis a week and a half early! We love you! 






Sunday, August 20, 2017

(IN)FERTILITY FRIDAY

Hey guys! Its officially transfer week! I had my appointment on Wednesday and all was still well with my blood levels and ultrasound. So Friday I got a phone call letting me know we were good to go on Thursday and my time slot is 9:30. This day literally has approached so quickly with all the craziness going on lately. I actually haven't even thought about the fertility stuff that much because I haven't had time to. And I intend to keep it that way. Keep living my busy life and planning trips and fun regardless of the outcome. Hopefully I will be less stressed which is helpful in the long run.

I have stopped my lupron shots and have been enjoying the 4 day window before shots start up again. On Tuesday I start the dreaded heparin shots. The bruising, lumpy, twice a day, full vile shots. They burn and I just really don't enjoy them. Oh well it's a small price to pay and I'll survive. I started Crinone (vaginal progesterone) twice a day yesterday and will continue that through 10 weeks. So that is it as far as meds go. My hot flashes and headaches haven't been as bad lately and I have a feeling I will start to get more tired from the progesterone in the next few days.

We have a busy week of lunch with Delainey tomorrow and then taking her out of school early for the Solar Eclipse, Blakely has her first day of Preschool on Wednesday and I have my transfer on Thursday and basically lay in bed for 48 hours after that. Time to read some books, listen to some church messages, and watch some good chick flicks. My #1 agenda is to actually make Delainey's 5 year old photo book which we are clearly a few months late on.

Please say some prayers for a successful transfer and a healthy baby 9 months from now. We are ready to add another to the McLaughlin family and we are praying God thinks 3rd time is the charm! Thank you for all your continued support and prayers as we continue on the journey for Baby McLaughlin #3! XOXO

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Delainey's First Day of Kindergarten

Monday was Delainey's first day of school. School actually started on Thursday but in kindergarten they break up her class into small groups and send 4-5 kids each day so they can get acclimated with the school and what a day looks like. Delainey's day was Monday and now tomorrow (Wednesday) the entire class will go for the first time. She had a good first day. Her high was lunch LOL I think she just loves being around all the kids and being wild. Plus she can't wait to buy a pizza and a cookie. She's so grown up. :( Well we are praying for a great first year of school and to the graduating class of 2030!



I made this shirt for her to wear the first day of school each year and hopefully by her senior year it will fit her perfectly! Hoping to take all 13 pictures by this gorgeous door too! LOL


 Mrs. Chatfield and her friend Mia (who she played soccer with this past spring)

Monday, August 14, 2017

Last week of Summer Fun

Over the past 7 days we have been so busy! Last Saturday we had an End of Summer Block party for all our neighbors on our street. Part of the deal with using my realtor is that he throws in a catered house warming party. Well I had yet to use it so it was the perfect opportunity to finally cash in and get to know all my neighbors. Luckily, we were really blessed with who lives on our street and we all had a great night. The kids played and swam, we ate delicious food, and stayed up way past our bed times laughing and getting to know each other. 

 Sunday, Kelli, Jeff, Georgia and Ivy officially moved to Orlando. We are all very sad about it, but I am in the denial phase of my grieving. :) Luckily it is only an hour and a half away and they are back every weekend for the next few weeks so it doesn't even seem like they have moved yet. The girls had one last swim before Georgia left and then gave sweet hugs goodbye. Waahhhh! :(
Tuesday we had school orientation and found out one of her friends from soccer was in her class. And then she had a sleepover at Gammoes.
 Wednesday she had a sleepover at Grammy's and got to choose where to go out to eat with Gram and Pops. She chose Carrabbas and got the royal treatment from the chefs since they sat at the table next to the kitchen.
Thursday I took Delainey to a real tea party at Ashes Tea Room and to get her nails painted. She has tea parties all the time at home so she was super excited to actually get to do it at a restaurant. We stopped at store down the street and found amazing tiaras that we just had to buy. :)




 Friday Kelli came back in town so they came over to swim and we cooked out at the house. Georgia had a sleepover and made pancakes Saturday morning with Dave.
Saturday night we went to my cousin Melissa's wedding party. Which was tons of fun and decorated so cute! 




 And Sunday after church we had the 5th grade girls all come over for a back to school pool party. The rain came mid party so we had to come inside and improvise. We entertained 20 girls with an intense game of head up and luckily about 30 minutes later we were able to swim again.

So like I said we have been crazy busy! And Delainey has been spoiled to the high heavens as we were trying to enjoy our last few days with her before she is gone a solid 5 days a week. She had a great first day but I will save that for another post.