Thursday, June 22, 2017

(In)fertility Friday

I've got news...and it's good! Dr. Garcia got my genetic test back on the fetus and everything came back perfectly normal. So it was not a partial molar pregnancy! That means no waiting for another 6 months and no chance of having abnormal cells (possibly cancer) left in my uterus because it wasn't there to begin with. I do still have to get my HCG blood levels down to 5 or less and we are making our way slowly but surely. 2 Weeks ago I was 123, last week I was 40, and yesterday I was 15 so hopefully be the time I do my next one it will be all the way down. Usually when you are close to zero you get your period so yea that will be fun! (insert sarcasm) We are actually going on vacation to Cashiers, NC on Sunday for the week so hopefully it waits until after that to come! :)

So all systems are a go for an August 24th transfer day. That's my Mom's birthday so it's a good day to begin with. :) The birth control will start again in July and then we are back to the shots towards the end of July. I will be gone next week so I won't do a post but after that I should be back in business with my Infertility Fridays as I will have stuff to post again. Let Round 3 begin! Xoxo

This was my journal entry from this exact day last year in my Jesus Calling devotion. Crazy to think of how much has happened over the past year. Lots of ups and downs, but more spiritual growth then I could have imagined one year ago so for that I am thankful! 1 year later and writing the same thing today. As I start my IVF journey...

Sunday, June 11, 2017

The Infertility Saga Continues

Sorry I didn't do a post on Friday. To be honest I am kind of in a limbo and didn't know what to say. So I will fill you in on where we are right now. I was hoping to go to my 2 week follow up appointment, hear the doctor say all looks well, and let you all know that I am scheduled to do another Frozen Transfer in late August. Well it didn't exactly go like that. 

Dr. Garcia said the tissue results came back and I "could possibly but I am really not sure, it's like 50/50 chance" that I may have had a partial molar pregnancy. LOL I said umm ok what's that? He explained a complete molar pregnancy as a group of abnormal cells that form and your body thinks you are pregnant, but you are really not. Through ultrasound you can see there is no fetus and you do a D&C. Essentially the cells could be a form of cancer. A partial molar is where there is a baby, but the placenta has abnormal cells which leads to issues with the baby which causes it to die. The results came back possible for a partial molar but it is inconclusive. He told me that he wants to wait till I get the genetic results back on the tissues. If they are perfectly normal it was not a partial molar pregnancy. If there was genetic issues then he thinks it could have been a partial. 

So I asked what are the chances of it happening again, he said about 1% so I thought ok lets move on and press our luck. He then proceeded to tell me that if it was a partial molar pregnancy you have to wait a minimum of 6 months before getting pregnant again. If some abnormal cells were left embedded in your uterus and they came out a few months later while pregnant it could lead to another D&C whether the baby was healthy or not. So he said DO NOT get pregnant. So like I said I am in Limbo. All could be well and we could be doing an FET in August or all may be pushed another 1/2 year out. It all depends on my genetic results which should be back in a week or 2. 

In the meantime he wants me to do weekly blood draws to make sure my HCG levels are dropping back to zero. This is the pregnancy hormone and if it doesn't drop it could mean it was a partial molar and there are still abnormal cells in there. I was at 123 on Wednesday which I am not sure if thats good or bad. I'll have a better idea after this weeks draw to see how quickly things are dropping. 

So woohoo the craziness continues. I said to Garcia "sheesh just add it to the list of crap I have" and he laughed and said you are definitely complicated LOL.  So I am taking this as a way that God can tell me what to do. If he doesn't think its right to do it again in August, then he will tell me it was a partial molar and I need to wait 6 months. If all comes back good, he is okay with August to try again. I only have 2 eggs left so this will be my last FET whenever it happens. Just trying to be at peace with it all and not be my usual controlling self. And in the meantime I am going to vacation my heart out bc I was putting off some trips I wanted to do because of being pregnant. Looking into a cruise now with the fam this fall and skiing with the McLaughlins in the winter. Finding the joy in the present. And honestly like I told my sister. After all this I wish I could just say well I am good with just my 2 beautiful girls lets quit trying. But I know deep down I would regret not giving it one more shot. I just feel like we are meant to have 1 more child. Just waiting for God to grant the desires of my heart. Hopefully I didn't confuse you guys too much with what's going on and I will do another post when I know more. I will leave you with the verse I saw on pinterest and Loved! So true and a great reminder of our true purpose on Earth. To fulfill his will and have eternal life in Heaven. XOXO

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Disney Girls Summer Getaway

Last week we went to Disney for a girls only trip from Tuesday through Thursday. We went to Epcot on Tuesday and Magic Kingdom on Wednesday and headed home on Thursday. Blakely really enjoyed Disney this trip. She loved meeting all the princesses and characters. We stayed at one of the Disney resorts which was awesome. We hopped on the bus in the mornings, came home to nap and swim and then headed back to the parks to do more rides and watch the fireworks. Definitely the way to do it so we aren't having meltdowns all day long. 
Epcot - Day 1

Our hotel - Art of Animation. Great pools and the girls loved the little mermaid themed room


Day 2 - Magic Kingdom






We had so much fun and tomorrow Delainey and I are making one more day trip to Magic Kingdom just the 2 of us. We are hoping to do some better rides (since we won't have Blakely holding us back because of the height requirement) and going to lunch at the Beauty & the Beast restaurant for the first time.  It's like 90% chance of rain so we are going to get wet, but oh well! Follow on Instagram for our fun tomorrow!




Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Life over the past 2 weeks

Hey guys! Sorry it has been almost 2 weeks since my last post! I took off to enjoy memorial day weekend and then the girls and I vacationed at Disney for a few days and am just getting back into the swing of things.
Here is a little bit of what we have been doing:
The Friday of Memorial Day weekend we had a beach day with some of our friends. The tide pool was perfect for the kids to lay in and play.

Then the next day we swam and cooked out at the house with friends. Delainey was so worn out from swimming she fell asleep on the float. LOL
Then Sunday we swam and cooked out with the family. That Tuesday we left for a girls trip to Disney for 2 nights. I will do a separate blog post on our trip. Then we came back and Delainey had her first swim meet this past weekend. She did really well on the backstroke, but the freestyle needs some work. :) She really enjoyed it and it's a good thing because it is our life every Saturday for the next 8 weeks! :) 


Poor Pops had to swim with all 4 of the granddaughters in between races. LOL

Saturday night we went to Freedom Fest, a concert at our church that was helping to stop human trafficking. For King & Country sang as well as a few other bands and then there were fireworks to finish the night. 


So we have had a busy but fun past few weeks.  I have my 2 week from my D&C follow up appointment tomorrow. So  I will be back this Friday with an Infertility post and to let you know on where we are going from here. I hope you all have a great week! XOXO


Wednesday, May 24, 2017

(IN)FERTILITY FRIDAY - THE CLOSE OF ANOTHER CHAPTER

I bet you are looking at this post saying, what is this a one year timehop blog, or did I go to the wrong date? I feel like I've seen these pics before and seen this blog title before. Well friends, I am sorry to say this isn't the same post as I did in September, but it the same outcome that occurred last September 15th. And to be honest it's nuts how similar the situation is this time as it was in September. So here's the story. 

I went to Dr. Garcia on Monday for my 12 week check up/ultrasound. My last ultrasound was with Dr. Brown and I was 9 weeks and 2 days and all looked well. My pregnancy symptoms were all present so I was feeling pretty good when I walked into Garcia's office. I told my Mom surely God isn't a comedian enough to put me through the exact same situation twice. Well sure enough I went in for my ultrasound, she put the wand on my stomach, and her face just dropped. I said again?? and she shook her head yes. She zoomed in and out moved around searching for a heartbeat, movement, anything. But there was nothing. The baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks and 6 days. Last time it stopped growing at 9 weeks and 2 days. I was still on all the medicines this time so that explanation for it being the cause was out. The only thing Dr. Garcia could say is they maybe had something chromosomally wrong with them or it was just a string of bad luck. Because this was my 2nd miscarriage he was going to do genetic testing on the tissue and I will do a full recurrent miscarriage blood panel to make sure something else isn't there, but the fact that I have 2 healthy children makes him think it's just bad luck. I hate to use the word luck and I'll explain why in a minute.

So this morning I went in for another D&C surgery. It went smoothly and am having some cramping afterwards but that is to be expected. Hopefully all side effects will be gone within a few days and onward we will continue to move.  Closing out the chapter of my 2nd attempt at a Frozen Embryo Transfer. Maybe the frozen ones just aren't in the cards for me. I do have 2 embryos left and anyone who knows me at all, knows I am not a quitter. So we will try again in a few months. I know God has something great planned for my future so we will keep praying and trusting in God's perfect plan and timing. 


 Clearly I am still on some pretty good anesthesia in this pic afterwards LOL!
This has been quite the journey since last July when I did my first FET, but it hasn't been all for nothing. Do I have a baby to show you to say it was worth it? No. But what I do have is a deeper faith in God and more peace than I have ever experienced in my life. To be honest, It just blows my mind when I think about people who experience tragedy and don't know God. Who or what do you have to lean on? People can try to comfort you and fill in those gaps in your heart, but they will never succeed. And nothing against people, but we are just sinful humans. No matter how hard we try we will fail so to depend on humans to provide me with peace and comfort and love is just not possible. The only person who can do that is Jesus. The feeling of comfort I felt when she said there was no heartbeat again was unexplainable. It was as if God was saying, "A for effort Jamie, but it still wasn't the right time. I have bigger and better things planned for you and this was not it. So just trust me, I promise it will be worth it!" Well alright God! That is what I am going to do. I guess it wasn't just bad luck. This was part of your plan and you knew this would occur on the day that I was born. Nothing happens by luck or chance for you and we need to keep that in the forefront of our mind. Our days are planned and every plan has a purpose.

 I mean how much suffering did Jesus have to go through for us. I think I can handle a few miscarriages if he can use them to grow his kingdom and to help grow me. So as people approach me with their condolences, I hope they know I appreciate their kind words, but am also grateful for these events. For without them my faith wouldn't be where it is today. So yes I know you are sorry for me, but don't be. You should almost be envious of me that I got to experience God's abounding love in the midst of trials and grow so much more because of it. This lady right here, will persevere mark my words on that!  I hope you all have a great night! XOXO

Friday, May 19, 2017

(In)fertility friday

Hey guys! Sorry I forgot to do my blog last night. I was up late packing for our trip and then of course nothing was accomplished this morning. We headed to Daytona for a little beach getaway just the 4 of us. It's nice to just relax and lay by the pool and do nothing. Really Blakely makes us swim though most the day.
I'm definitely at that awkward stage that people are probably wondering if I'm pregnant or just have a nice beer gut. Lol Oh well! I don't know anyone down here so who cares. Other than the belly things are going well, boobs are still sore and still needing to eat lots! I see Dr. Garcia on Monday and if all looks well I will stop my crinone and heparin shots. I'll be back after my appointment to update you all. I hope you all have a nice relaxing weekend like we are!

Thursday, May 11, 2017

(IN)FERTILITY FRIDAY

Here comes big momma! LOL I am officially large and in charge and there is not much hiding of this belly now. I am in my last 2 pairs of shorts and can no longer fit in any of my pants. I will probably need to break out the maternity box in the next week or so. Unfortunately for me, my big belly was in the winter with the other two so I don't have much to get by for the summer months. I may need to make a shopping trip soon as well. 

All joking aside, I will gladly take the growing belly. It means something is happening in there and I am praying it continues to! I am 11 weeks on Saturday so we are passing the miscarriage week as we speak. I am still tired and nauseous so that is a good thing! :) I am still taking my crinone and heparin shots and will be doing so for a few more weeks. I think I will be most scared to stop those. I really feel like stopping the progesterone messed things up last time so I am going to be overly cautious and take it longer than needed. 

As far as nausea goes, it's not too bad as long as I am eating, but the problem is no food appeals to me! String cheese and protein shakes are all I like. I am not even loving pasta that much these days. Cold stuff is where its at. Maybe bc I feel like I get so hot easily I like cold food. I am positive our poor neighbors have seen my panties.  I am so hot all the time, all I wear is a t-shirt around the house. Whoops. We actually had neighbors move in this week so guess I better tighten things up.  LOL

I am still sleepy and taking naps during the day and pretty worthless when it comes to cleaning the house or cooking dinner. Luckily Dave has been home early this week so we have had 2 home cooked meals instead of our usual cereal for dinner or pizza rolls bc mom is too tired to do anything else haha. What's a few weeks of no nutrition in the grand scheme of life? I'll feel better soon and we will be back to normal in no time. 

My next Dr appointment is Monday the 22nd and it's with Dr. Garcia the OB. Its a 3 hour long visit with an ultrasound, check up with the dr, go over your insurance... So hopefully all will go well at that and the fact that I am pregnant will become public knowledge. Well atleast to those who don't follow my blog. :) Keep up the prayers guys for a healthy baby. They are working! And Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms out there. Sorry but mine our the best! :)