(IN)FERTILITY FRIDAY - 12 WEEK UPDATE

Hey guys! So I am still at the doctor doing my blog post since I’ve been here almost 3 hours. And I know once I get home I’m going to be busy finishing packing for our Bahamas trip tomorrow and probably wouldn’t get around to it. So I am happy to report I have made it past the 12 week mark and survived going in the dreaded ultrasound room where the past 2 times there has been no heartbeat.
In all honesty I was super anxious when I walked into that dark room, so I said some quick prayers, recited some bible verses over and over in my head and as soon as she put the probe on my belly, we saw a jump so I was able to breathe.  The ultrasound lady Gail was very thorough which I really appreciated. I had never had an ultrasound that was that in-depth in my life. She measured the head, showed us the brain and how there was good separation in the craniums, measured the nose bridge made sure all the organs were there, literally checked every part of the body. It probably took a good 15-20 minutes. Everything looked great and Baby had a heart rate of 165 which was good and was measuring at 12 weeks and 2 days and that is exactly where I am.

After the ultrasound I met with nurses to go over financial stuff and after talking to one of the ladies for a few minutes, it turns out she was at the same fertility place as me and just found out yesterday there was no heartbeat and she was getting a D&C tomorrow. It sounded all too familiar and I felt so bad for her. We talked for a little while about what to expect and things she could do differently when she tried again so hopefully I comforted her a little bit during her time of hopelessness. Someone please remind me to get her email in a few weeks and reach out to see how she is doing. That definitely is an upside to all this I have gone through. I am able to help others and say don't give up, I am proof that when God's timing is perfect it CAN work!

So after that I met with Dr. Garcia and he did a routine exam and we talked about what meds I should be off of now and what I should be on. I have officially stopped my crinone and stopped my heparin yesterday. I am going back on a baby aspirin to help with the blood clotting issues. So now we just wait and pray all continues well and that this belly gets bigger by the day! I actually am getting fairly large! I haven't done a belly pic yet and will do one soon, but when we get back from the bahamas I will do a post with some side profile shots so you can see whats happening. It looks huge in a bathing suit. I love having a belly though and will gladly welcome it as soon as I can get it!

Oh I also forgot to tell you that the blood hemorrhage had definitely disappeared and she checked to see if I had placenta previa which I did with Blakely and she said nope so honestly the ultrasound was just too good to be true. I need to stop worrying and being anxious because I know God has got this under control and I have been a very stubborn child lately! I prayed before my 10 week ultrasound if things were going to end well for me, could he make it a perfect ultrasound and even make the blood go away so I would have a sign! Well of course he did just that and I still was anxious this past week. I did ask for forgiveness because this type A control freak is being hit with signs in the face and I keep saying I need more. How rude. I had an image of Delainey saying Mom will you come to my swim meet and I told her yes I promise I will be there and then she said I don't believe you I need something more, so I gave her my phone (we all know how much mom loves her phone and can't be without it) and said I will be there shortly and she still didn't believe me, I said here take my wallet and all my money if mom doesn't show up and she still was hesitant to believe I was coming. Thats how I think God felt, like sheesh Jamie what do you want from me to believe it will be ok LOL. Dang stubborn kids. Haha luckily he is a very patient God!

So we are off tomorrow on a little 4 night family vacation to the Bahamas! No big plans or anything wild. David and Delainey are going to swim with the dolphins, but just planning on relaxing, swimming at the pool and the beach and spending some quality time together. I will be posting on Instagram if you want to follow along with our weekend. Otherwise I will be back next week with an infertility update and I'll post some stomach shots to show the growth we have had over the past 12 weeks. I hit the 2nd trimester on Monday!! Woohoo! Thank you all so much for your prayers to get us to this point and I will gladly take them until the day this baby is born! I hope you all have a great weekend! XOXO

(IN)FERTILITY FRIDAY - 11 WEEEK UPDATE

So far we are still good friends! I had an ultrasound on Tuesday at a Storks View which is just an ultrasound place you can go and pay money at it and see your baby whenever. The baby was measuring at 11 weeks and 5 days and had a heartbeat of 168 so things were looking good. This week and the last make me a little nervous because I am coming off of my meds. They say the placenta kicks in between 9-12 weeks. It scares me to stop the meds before 12 weeks so we are slowly tapering off of them. On Monday I had my last progesterone shot and this week I have only been taking 1 crinone a day which is a progesterone too. So I went from 2 crinones and a shot to 1 crinone and shot, now to just 1 crinone. My last of them is on Monday. I also am supposed to stop the Heparin at 12 weeks too which is Monday. So hopefully all goes well with that and we will be smooth sailing for the next 28 weeks. I go to see my real OB this Wednesday so if that ultrasound looks good, I will finally feel confident to say I am having a baby! The poor ultrasound lady there has this tiny dark room and both times I have walked in in the past year their has been no heartbeat so it gives me a little anxiety to walk into her office. But we are just praying all will go well!

We have had an eventful week at my nephew Caleb was born on Monday to my sister-in-law. He is so cute and I got to be at the hospital on Monday to witness it all! So we finally have some boys invading the Jacksonville cousins. Next up is baby Rush (my sisters baby) due next month! Woohoo! I hope you all have a great weekend and I will keep you posted on how Wednesday goes. We are going on a family trip to the Bahamas on Thursday so I will let you know on Wednesday night! XOXO

(IN)FERTILITY FRIDAY - 10 Week Update

So we have officially made it into the 10 week threshold! The baby measuring at 10 weeks and 2 days isn't something we have seen since being pregnant with Blakely! I of course am still cautious since its only a few days into 10 weeks and will feel super good about it once I hit 12 weeks but atleast we have crossed my past 2 times miscarriage hump. Dr. Winslow did a very quick ultrasound and said all looks good. He didn't give me a heartbeat reading or check the size of my fluid even though I asked him to. He said it all looks fine don't worry about it. Ugg some doctors can be so understanding with my  neurotic billion questions and some can't. He can't handle it. He said just enjoy being pregnant and stop worrying about it. LOL

He did say he can't find the blood anywhere and it looks like all has reattached good so that is good. I thought I myself saw a little area so who knows if eventually I will bleed it out or not. So that is where we stand. I am officially graduated from the FIRM and moving onto Dr. Garcia. I have had bad luck the  past 2 times I have had ultrasounds at Garcias so I'm sure I will be a nervous wreck when that is scheduled. I am waiting to hear back from the nurses now to get me scheduled in the next week or so.

As far as medicines go, I am going to stop my progesterone shots on Sunday and then lower my crinone from twice a day to once a day from week 11-12. I stop Heparin at 12 so all that will be left to take is my vitamins! Thank you guys so much for your prayers and lets keep it going for 2 more solid weeks!! My sister in law Emily is having her baby either tomorrow or Monday depending on how her blood pressure and urine sample look, so say some prayers for a smooth healthy delivery. Can't wait to add another to the McLaughlin bunch of cousins!! I'll keep you all updated on when my next ultrasound is! Thanks again for the prayers! You all are amazing and I truly feel the love from both near and far!! XOXO

(IN)FERTILITY FRIDAY - 9 WEEK UPDATE

1. We heard a heart beat today. Baby's heart rate was at 180 and he said thats right where it should be. 2. Baby was measuring on track at 25 mm which was right where I needed to be in relation to last week.
3. The blood looked the same. He measured it at 2 cm instead of 2.5 but looked about the same to me so that is good.

I told the doctor I have had 2 previous miscarriages at week 9 and asked if there was anything that he could see that could be bad. He said the only thing I can find that is not right on track is the size of the gestational sac. He said it looked a little low on fluid. He said normal range measures from a week behind to a week ahead of where you are. So 8 weeks and 3 days to 10 weeks and 3 days is normal. Mine was at 8 weeks flat. He said he wasn't super concerned, but of course it's another thing to worry about. So I of course googled how to increase the fluid and the main thing is to stay hydrated. So of course I am going to be over the top about it. A bottle of water every hour for 12 hours. I bought watermelon water and coconut water and lots of strawberries, watermelon, and cantaloupe. So hopefully it will help.

I have another ultrasound on Wednesday which would put me at 10 weeks and 2 days. I have yet for a baby to make it to measuring 10 weeks so that would be huge if we can do that! I say after that I will breathe a sigh of relief but I doubt that will happen till one more ultrasound at 12 weeks. Or honestly until I have a child in my hands I will be stressed. LOL too much knowledge and history to enjoy like the good old days! So please amp up the prayers this week. We really need them for the baby as well as my anxiety for my dr appt next Wednesday. I will probably throw up before next weeks from nerves lol. Thank you all of following along and praying. We really do appreciate it so much and I have been bad about updating you through text I am so sorry. It is unintentional and I just sometimes forget who all I need to update asap on the ultrasounds. Talk to you all soon! XOXO

(IN)FERTILITY FRIDAY - 8 WEEK UPDATE

Hey friends! So I had a super emotional weekend last weekend. First let me start by saying we had a great beach vacation getaway at St. Augustine Beach. The weather was supposed to be horrible all week and it only rained 1 day and it was so light and scattered that the kids just swam through it. We played at the Beach on Saturday with Georgia and Jeff, went down to our friend Alicia's condo on Sunday where we swam and cooked out, went to the beach again on Monday with all the kids by Alicia's condo, Gram came down Monday night, and we had another beach day on Tuesday with Gram and Gammoe and we were at the beach ALL day! So it ended up being a great relaxing week away! Lovely way to start summer!

As far as the emotion goes, I wrote this blog post last Friday about how the symptoms had finally kicked in and then Saturday morning I wake up perfectly fine. Like zero nausea, not tired and needing naps, my boobs were still a little sore, but it was hard to tell if it was more or less. I told Dave this is not good. I have traveled this road twice now and both times, I have woken up one random day and felt good and things turned out bad at the next ultrasound. We continued on with our day, but the thought was in the back of my mind. That night I had the most vivid dream of an ultrasound happening and their being no heartbeat, and all my friends and family were cycling through the room to tell me sorry and console me. So when I woke I said a prayer and asked God to give me a sign. Well I read daily from my YouVersion Bible app and everyday they post a verse of the day. So I said please let the verse be an indicator of what was happening with me. Well here was the verse of the day.

He bears our burdens. UGHH Here comes another burden; I just knew things were bad. I had accepted it and chose to still enjoy my weekend despite losing the baby. It was obviously not the right time and God would give us a baby at the right time. So I was scheduled for an ultrasound on Tuesday to see how the blood was doing. I told Dave be prepared we would probably be doing another D&C on Thursday. I was going to call Dr. Garcia's office and see when he could fit me in. So when he inserted the wand and said theres a good heartbeat I about died. I said are you positive?!? He pointed and I couldn't believe it. I said how is it measuring. Great right at 16 mm which means it grew 9 mm in 8 days and it usually grows 1 mm a day. He said the blood measured the same so that was a good thing that it wasn't an active bleed. I said are you 100% sure you saw a heartbeat bc I don't see anything on the monitor. He said that is because I have it frozen Jamie to print a picture hahah. He took it off frozen and showed it to me it again. So much to my surprise we still have a baby growing in there. I don't want to get my hopes up because I have always had great 8 week ultrasounds so the scariest time is ahead of us, but it at least means there is still a possibility for a child at the end of this.

So please keep the prayers coming we have 2 weeks to get over my miscarriage hump. He wants me to keep coming in weekly to check on the blood and I am 100% ok with it. I like knowing weekly if the baby is still alive. He is out of town next week so I will see his partner Dr. Freeman, but honestly I could do the ultrasound myself at this point. So hopefully all will look good then and then the scary week will happen. It is when the baby usually switches to relying on the placenta for blood and nutrition instead of the progesterone hormone. I feel like everytime there is a blood clot and thats why the baby dies. Of course this is just my speculation. So if I can have 2 more good ultrasounds I may start to feel a little bit better! I told my friend Krista, I honestly won't feel good till this baby is born, LOL knowing all we know that can happen with babies and pregnancies from first hand experience with my friends. But if I hit the second trimester I know we are headed in the right direction and I will breathe some serious sighs of relief. Thank you all for your continued prayers. We need them desperately now for the next few weeks and some peace when I go into the doctor these next 2 (hopefully) times. I hope you all have a great start to your summer! D is in full force on the swim team and has her first meet tom so that has been keeping us busy 3-4 days a week! Talk to you all soon! XOXO

By the way: I am still on the progesterone shots in the rear and crinone twice a day, heparin twice a day, and prenatals and b12 folate. The shots make me sore but it isn't so bad that I can't walk so that is good! Just wanted to document my meds for future references. Hopefully we won't ever need to know again. :)