(IN)FERTILITY FRIDAY - 7 week update

Well friends I have arrived. And by arrived I mean the pregnancy symptoms have arrived. It is good because that means something is happening and I have been waiting to feel bad. But now that it is here I remember how rough it is. I am wondering if the timing of the booty shots is just coincidental or if the shot has kicked up the symptoms but they are fully present. I am nauseous most of the day, feel constantly hungry, am super tired and taking naps every day, and am irritable as all get out. Sorry family :( I just feel so exhausted my patience is so short! So that is where we stand this week. Hopefully the symptoms continue to 12 weeks and it means all is well with this baby.

As far as the bleeding goes, I still haven't bled yet and am taking it as easy I can so that is a plus! My booty is definitely sore, but Dave is doing a great job of giving me my shots. And we go back for another ultrasound on Tuesday so the waiting continues. We are headed to St. Augustine beach for 5 days for a little Schools out vacay!! We wanted close enough so Dave could come for the weekend but somewhere that didn't feel like home. Of course this weather is going to be horrible majority of the time but we are praying it slows down till atleast Monday and we'll make the best of it no matter what! So that is where we stand! Follow along on my instagram for all our fun this weekend and I will be back on Tuesday with hopefully a good update! We need a healthy good heartbeat, measuring on track, and no blood or atleast blood that hasn't gotten bigger. I hope you all have a great Memorial Day weekend and we are super excited for summertime! Let the pool and fun begin!! XOXO

Last Day of School Pic of my Girls!!

3rd Ultrasound

So I have an early update for you because after my post last week, my doctor called the next day and changed around my meds and moved up when to see me. The Dr. called a specialist in recurrent miscarriage loss and asked her opinion on what I should do with my meds and the bleeding and he said to stop my baby aspirin but stay on the Heparin. You guys may not have known I was on that, but I have been since I found out I was pregnant. So the concern is we want to stop the blood thinners to help stop the bleeding, but not stop them so much that I  have a clot in the placenta and the baby stops growing and dies. It is a balancing act. So anyways I stopped the baby aspirin and went in this morning.
He said the bleeding spot had grown. He couldn't tell me how much it had grown but this time it measured 2 cm in length. There was still a good heartbeat and the baby was measuring on track so that is a good thing! It is getting some blood and nutrients! He wanted to make sure it got enough progesterone too so he added in a shot of progesterone in the booty. It's like dejavu. Back to the dreaded booty shots. I already got one this morning and my hip/hiney is already so sore. I'll take it though if this results in a healthy baby! So I will be doing that for the next week. We go back next Tuesday to see how things are looking. Hopefully still no spotting and the blood is smaller or absorbed. And that the baby has a good heartbeat and is measuring on track. Those are the prayers we need right now. I am told to take it easy and no lifting so we are going to be watching lots of tv and movies this week! I'll be back this Friday with an update on how things are going and what our plans are for the weekend! Talk to you all soon! XOXO

(IN)FERTILITY FRIDAY - 2nd Ultrasound

So as we all have learned over the past few years, nothing is simple with me and surely nothing is black and white. That remains true for my doctors appointment today. All we were hoping for was a good heartbeat and things to be looking good. Well we did have a good heartbeat or it looked good, we didn't get to hear it, but we did find an issue. It is called a Subchorionic hemorrhage. Basically its a blood clot or bleed that happens between the uterus and the placenta. Mine is not too big according to the Dr, but we need to watch it to make sure it doesn't get bigger. So we wait another week and go back next week to see if it is bigger or smaller or hopefully completely gone. If it grows there is a risk for the placenta to detach which means miscarriage. So we are praying it gets better. He put me on light activity no lifting or anything strenuous for the next week so we can make sure I am not continuing to bleed. So that is the latest with us. Some serious testing God is putting me through. I will take it though if it all ends in  a healthy baby. Here is a picture and the arrow is pointing to the part that is the blood.

Thanks for your prayers and now we have something new to add to the list of prayers. I think I am going to add as well that on my next doctor appointment let everything be smooth sailing from next week on. I will keep you all posted next week! Pray the bleeding stops and disappears. XOXO

(IN)FERTILITY FRIDAY - First ultrasound

So today was my first ultrasound. Earlier than a usual one would be scheduled, but because of my slow rising numbers they wanted to make sure a gestational sac had formed and that it was in my uterus and not anywhere else. So today we headed in and I was a nervous wreck. I would like to note that after Friday, I was really ok with whatever the outcome would be. I had a peace from God that we would be fine no matter how it went and we had a great weekend camping and celebrating Delainey's birthday. This week was good and I honestly didn't start worrying again till last night. Not that it would change anything, but I liked the idea of not knowing in case if it wasn't a good outcome. I liked having a hope to hold onto instead of it being bad news and being out of luck.

So we headed to the doctor this morning and as soon as she stuck the probe in she said oh look there is a sac and I said in my uterus? And she said ya and I started to cry and said Thank you Lord. So really all I could see this early is a gestational sac and a small little white dot which is called a yolk sac. But atleast we ruled out the chance of an ectopic and things are moving in the right direction. It was a sigh of relief, but we have a long way to go! Next Thursday I have another ultrasound and by then we should see a heartbeat. So please keep the prayers coming that all continues to go well! We are going to keep trusting in God and that his plan is perfect!

Thank you guys for your continued prayers. I told David today if nothing else good comes from this we truly know how blessed we are to have so many people love and support us through all this! I had to send out lots of texts sharing the good news as I knew lots of people were waiting by their phones to hear how things went. How blessed are we! You guys don't know how grateful we really are! I will keep you posted on how things progress. We have soccer, a boat day, and mothers day on our agenda this weekend. Happy Mother's Day to all you amazing women in my life! Talk to you soon! XOXO

2nd & 3rd blood draw results

Yes you read that title correctly. I have had a 2nd and 3rd blood draw in the past 2 days. No news means bad news and that is where we are right now. Yesterday I had my 2nd blood draw and the number came back at 320. I needed to be at 434 so it didn't even get half way there from 217. That is not good news. The nurse told me maybe it is just slow moving and lets test again on Monday. I told her by no means was I able to wait 4 more days to see what was happening so could we see if it made it to the 434 by today. Doubling in 48 hours is ideal but sometimes it can take up to 72 hours so I wanted to see if we got to that today. Today I got to 419. So it went up 100 points in 1 day vs. 100 points in 2 days like the previous days. So that gives me a glimmer of hope, but definitely not the situation I would like to be in. Patty the nurse today said lets just not worry about the numbers anymore and see what shows up on an ultrasound next week. I will only be 5 weeks next week so we for sure would not see a baby, just a gestational sack to make sure things are where they belong. I think the slow rising numbers is an indicator of ectopic pregnancies and they want to check on that.

So the waiting continues. I would like to be completely honest and tell anyone going through this how horrific the emotional side of this is. The shots no biggie. The mind games going on in my head are enough to drive a person insane. The only way I can explain the feeling of nausea/desperation I feel in my stomach would be similar to finding your boyfriend/spouse cheating on you. I have literally felt like throwing up all day long from the nerves. It is horrible! I have been having lots of cramping so who knows what is really going on down there. Time will tell and in the mean time I would 100% appreciate your prayers for a healthy baby but also for some peace and sanity while I wait.

Today I was desperately searching for worship songs to calm me down and looked up a song called I have this hope by Tenth Avenue North on youtube. After listening to it, the one below started to automatically play. It was Even if by MercyMe. I had never heard the song so I decided to listen. God 100%  sent it to me. He told me to relax and regardless I would be fine. I love how he gave me some sort of sign that he was with me in my desperation. I of course cried hysterically while listening. So brace yourself when you listen to it. It will be my new anthem for the next week while I wait and even through this entire journey no matter how long it lasts. It even included one of my favorites "It is well" at the end. So sorry I kept you all waiting, but I needed a day to digest and withdraw to mourn and throw my temper tantrum. I am better today. Praying for peace and joy in the midst of this wild ride we are one. Talk to you all soon XOXO

Here is the link to the song. Give it a listen!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6fA35Ved-Y

FIRST BLOOD DRAW RESULTS

Well friends we are officially moving in the right direction! I had my 1st blood draw today to check my HCG level (what tells your if you are pregnant) and I am officially pregnant! Time to breathe a sigh of relief. :) I think I'll only breathe a half sigh though LOL because what really matters is the 2nd blood draw to make sure your numbers are doubling every 48-72 hours. They would love doubling at 48 hours but if it is little low it isn't that big of a concern. My HCG level was 217 which is good. I was hoping for anything over 100 so I was pleasantly surprised with that number. Also this crazy lady right here asked them to check my progesterone again just to make sure I was still producing plenty on my own and the sweet nurse obliged. The nurse who called me later said it was over 60 which was the highest she has seen in years so that is awesome! That means my body is producing its own progesterone, bc the vaginal crinone doesn't show up in blood tests. God bless this natural cycle. So things are looking good. Here is how the past 10 days went down.

So last post I told you about the weekend of my transfer and just laying low and hanging with Dave on Sunday. So the first few days weren't too bad mentally, bc obviously it is way to early to even think about it so I didn't too much. I had more than usual cramping and most of it was on my right side. I thought about the possibility of an ectopic bc it was so far to the right, but then I remembered with Delainey I had the exact same thing and they called it a corpus luteum cyst. Basically just a little cyst where the egg is released which is good bc it is what provides all the progesterone. So I am sticking with it being a cyst and not an ectopic pregnancy for now! I also was very careful about not drinking or eating anything cold, I kept socks on most of the time to keep my feet warm, relaxed and laid around a lot, no lifting of heavy things (ie: Blakely haha), and I also did my pomegranate juice the day before the transfer and the day of. I did acupuncture also the day before the transfer, right after the transfer, and the Wednesday after too. Who knows what of all that helped to make this embryo stick but it worked so lets just rejoice in that!

So on Wednesday I took a pregnancy test, knowing it 100% would not show up pregnant this soon. I did it though because I wanted to make sure the trigger shot I took the Monday before my transfer was out of my system. It is the HCG hormone so it could give you false positives. It had a very very faint line which was good. That meant it was almost out of my system. That way when I took a pregnancy test over the weekend if it was darker, that meant I was actually pregnant.

The cramping continued, I worried it was more like period cramping coming on, but the one thing that was different was my face, chest, and back started breaking out horribly. Almost like a dry rosacea with bumps in it. I had this with Delainey as well so as much as I don't like looking like this, I was excited to see the change! Something was happening. So finally Sunday morning I decided to wake early and take a pregnancy test! It said yes and it just so happened to be Dave's birthday so it was a great present for us!

I took one again yesterday just to make sure things weren't changing and then waited just for the blood test today. Blakely and I swung by on our way to the beach, gave blood and on our way we went. The nurse called at 2 on the dot which I thoroughly appreciate so they don't make you wait all day long to hear. Also my boobs have started to get sore so thats another hopeful sign! :)

So that is where we stand. I am cautiously optimistic! Praying all continues to go well and we have a baby the first week of January. Thank you for all your prayers and please keep them coming as the first trimester is a rocky road for me! I will be back to let you all know how the 2nd blood draw goes! XOXO