(IN)FERTILITY FRIDAY

It's March!! The month for attempt #2 for baby number 3. I honestly cannot believe how fast March got here. I feel like I just scheduled my transfer 5 days ago. It's nice things are moving quickly and we are staying so busy so I am not so focused on this whole process, but at the same time I want time to slow down because my girls are growing up too fast! Blakely will be 2 at the end of the month (actually she turns 2 the day before I do my blood test to see if I am pregnant) and Delainey will be 5 in 2 months. :( Kindergarten is approaching, preschool for B and I just don't want my girlies to get any older! We have lots of stuff planned this month so I am sure it is going to fly by just as quick. This weekend I am going to the Women's Retreat at our church and I am really looking forward to that. Nice to relax and recharge my relationship with Christ. Then we have Paige my niece in town for the next week for her spring break and my twin nephews in town for the next 2 1/2 weeks. We have Georgia's 3rd birthday party next weekend then my transfer the following weekend and then Blakely's birthday party the week after that....and there goes March! I am excited for all the fun things this month though!!

Last infertility post I mentioned not much was going on this upcoming week and that was true. My shots are the same, all I did was add in some estrogen pills. They don't seem to bother me too much so I am feeling pretty normal and good as far as hormones go. This regimen will stay the same this upcoming week with another/last ultrasound on Thursday before the transfer. Assuming all goes well at the ultrasound, they will call me with my time of transfer and I will stop the shots and start the Crinone (progesterone) to get my body ready to carry a baby. This would be the point where I would do the shots in the butt, but instead we are doing vaginal gel and I couldn't be more excited about it!!

I feel so different this time around. Maybe because I know I don't have to do the horrible progesterone shots, but I am not nervous at all. To be honest, I almost feel an unexplainable peace about this entire thing which I know only comes from God. Last time, I was a nervous wreck playing every possible scenario in my mind...what if my eggs die during the thaw process, what if doesn't work. This time I have a much deeper ability to TRUST that God knows exactly what is right for my life and whatever the outcome is, that is God's plan. Of course I am human and want it to work and have a baby because I want another baby. But since my miscarriage in September and starting Bible Study Fellowship on the same day I miscarried, something has definitely changed inside me. I have a deeper understanding of God and because I know how much he loves me, I can rest assured that he wants what is best for my life and will give me what is best. Let His will be done, not my own. So when people see me and ask how are things going, I almost feel guilty saying they're great! Because I know most people in my shoes don't have the peace I do, just like I didn't the last time. All I could say to those going through it is...to take on this IVF journey alone is miserable, to do it with God by your side, it makes it much more bearable. I know I have posted this verse 500 times, but it is a personal fave because the peace that transcends upon you is not something you could ever experience on your own. Only through God can you feel such an overwhelming peace.

Hopefully anyone who is reading this going through a similar situation can feel the same way I do this time around because it is a million times better! Sheesh Jamie why did it take me so long to realize :) It's all part of God's plan to grow us and boy is it working in my life. I'll be back next Friday with my ultrasound update and hopefully some exact times you can be praying for my transfer to go well! I hope you all have a great weekend!