It's My Birthday! And the mixed emotions of turning 32! :) :(

I woke up this morning and I am a year older. I am 32 years old. And with it comes such mixed emotions. I love a good birthday: the week (or month) long celebrations, dinners out, presents, my favorite home cooked meals, comments on Facebook from people I haven't talked to since last birthday :), and amazing comments and texts from my friends and loved ones. All of these things reminds me how blessed I am. But in all honesty, I was kind of dreading this birthday. With this birthday brought a year of my life, that wasn't going to be how I had planned it. I had planned on welcoming my 3rd child in my year of 32. It's not going to happen. And I have been struggling with it. Worse than most people know about to be honest.

I was called out last week by 2 very dear friends though and it was exactly what I needed. I was living the past month in a woe is me attitude. Not being a good friend, not celebrating other friends victories of pregnancy after such long battles, avoiding group situations at all costs, and just kind of living in my own little hole so I didn't have to think about what had happened. It was no way to live. I wasn't living, I was just going through the motions of being a mom. Now I did have some great days, usually they were days that started with my daily devotion and some quiet time with the Lord. On days I slept in and missed it, things were rough. So as I have made it a priority to get up and have my time with God, things have continued to get better and better.

Than yesterday at Bible Study Fellowship, it hit me like a ton of bricks. What was I doing? How dare I act like this? Had I lost all trust or faith in God? The speaker talked about how "We are here on Earth to fulfill God's purpose, not our own purpose in life and the only purpose we should have is to spread the word of how wonderful Jesus is." Game Changer. I always knew that, but for some reason it was like God spoke to me and said "Hello Jamie, I did this so you would have something to share, something to use to spread my name, something to show that through tragedy I have redeemed you and that with me you will have joy and peace in spite of the circumstances." It is not my plan. It is God's plan and this miscarriage was exactly what I needed. 1. Because it grew me spiritually to lean more on him and 2. It has given me another piece to my testimony. Friends, I hate that it takes tragedy for us to draw near to him or really understand what our real purpose in life is, but it does. And for that I couldn't be more thankful that God put this hurdle in my life.

So I welcome 32 today! And as per our family tradition, we usually share what we want to accomplish during this year of our life. It is usually have a baby, move in to a new house, get a new job, lose weight... But all of those things are Earthly. Instead this year, I am going to use my story to reach as many people as I can and tell them about Jesus. I am going to reach out to more people struggling with infertility or miscarriage and be a friend/mentor to them. I am going to be the best friend anyone could imagine, willing to talk or be there in a moments notice. I am going to reach out and love those who I usually wouldn't due to prejudices or cultural differences. I am going to build more relationships than ever and just shine like a light for God so that all who see may also want to find out more about how God can change their life. I think 32 is going to be my best year yet! :) I hope if you are reading this and don't know Jesus, you are inspired to learn more, because the only way I have dealt with and overcome infertility and miscarriage is through God. 100% No doubt about it!
 Thank you all for the birthday wishes  and love and for my 32nd year of life, I am going to live out God's purpose for my life, not my own! I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! I know I will! XOXO

Halloween Toddler Cooking

This past week during Blakely's nap time, Delainey & I had a little baking fun. In honor of Halloween we made some fun little treats. We made mummies out of hotdogs and crescent rolls, and spiders out of hot dogs and noodles. We also made pumpkin bread for her teachers. I love that she is old enough now to get her stool and do majority of the things in the kitchen. 

She was so obsessed with the noodle spiders. She even had to add the "tuskers" to her spider so he could smell things. LOL This girl loves all things science! 

Pumpkin bread ready to be baked for her teachers. 

We are not up to too much this week. Just the usual school, soccer, BSF, and gym. It is my birthday week but I'm not too excited about turning 32. We did go have a glorious family birthday celebration on Sunday at Ruth's Chris though. I'm looking forward to a new house in my 32nd year of life and fingers crossed getting pregnant again. And maybe get these wrinkles taken care of on my forehead. One for each kid ;) LOL Just kidding, no but seriously I'm not! :)

Fall Festivals Galore

Last Sunday, we went to the Annual Fall Fesitval at the church where Dave & I got married. The girls dressed in some costumes, jumped on bounce houses, decorated cookies, played games, ate snow cones, and went on a hay ride.

 Thursday, Delainey had her fall festival at school so we sported our 2nd costume of the year. Blakely definitely had the more fun than Delainey! She loved doing the games and choosing her candy from the bowls. She is going to be a trip trick or treating.

And yesterday we rounded out the week with our 3rd fall festival at San Juan school for some Philippino food and some carnival rides. Delainey and Blakely loved the big slide... see my instagram for a video of them going down it. LOL Here are some pics of the crazy ladies before the carnival at D's soccer game.

We've got one more week of fall fun then onto celebrating Thanksgiving we go. I'll be back with more fall fun this week!

Ivy's 1st Birthday party

Saturday we celebrated little Miss Ivy Jean turning 1. She actually turned one on October 3rd, but the party got pushed back a week thanks to Hurricane Matthew. Kelli did a Lobster/shrimp boil theme and it turned out so cute! The kids had a blast doing a little music class, playing in the bounce house and swimming. I can't believe she is already 1! I think this is the first time in 2 1/2 years that there were no infants running around. Just big girls here now! :) Here are pics from the party!

Hurricane Matthew Recap

As most of you know by now, Jacksonville was hit this past weekend by Hurricane Matthew that at one point was a category 4 hurricane. It was headed straight for us and had potential to be very devastating. So we prepared. Mom and I went to get sandbags in the pouring rain on Thursday with the rest of the city. It was a madhouse, but at the same time kind of fun playing in the dirt and rain. We cleared off the patio, went to the grocery store, basically did all the prep necessary to ride out the hurricane at home. 

It hit on Friday at about 2 pm and that's when we lost power. It mainly was just lots of rain and Windy! Once the TV went out, Dave and the girls became restless so it was time to pull out the board games. We played go fish, twister, played with the toys, and before we knew it Dave and the girls had to get out on the patio to run. Since there was no lightning I wasn't too worried about it so why not.

Adventures around Jax

Delainey and I have agreed on a reward system for good behavior at school. When she has 3 great days in a row, she gets a reward. She gets a reward almost every week and to be honest, most of it is stuff we would do anyways, but why not give her an incentive to do her work and listen well at school. So far she has chosen a strawberry shortcake DVD, the new Disney Elena of Avalor doll, and bowling. We finally had a day to go bowling and she loved it! She had so much fun choosing her ball,  wearing the shoes, and rolling it down the ramp. After each roll, she would run back and count the number of pins left on her screen. We had such a great time bowling, we will definitely be doing that again soon! She has requested cosmic bowling next time. LOL

I would like everyone to notice this was the best game I ever bowled in my life. 3 strikes, spare, and a strike for my last 5 rounds! :) Way to go Mom!

Monday was too gorgeous of a day to stay inside and do gymnastics so we skipped it and headed to the zoo. The girls played on the playground, rode the train, saw most of the animals, and even had a ride on the carousel. Blake is a little unsure about some of the bigger animals, especially when they were close to her, but overall she really liked it!